Sex And The City was right

Why aren't we celebrating more non-traditional milestones?

One thing us 30-something huns are gaining momentum with is rejecting the idea that babies, marriage and even home ownership are the main measures of personal success in the modern day.

A few weeks back I was re-watching SATC, as I usually do when having the house to myself, notably the episode where Carrie gets her shoes nicked from a party, and fast realises she’s morally torn at the host offering to pay for them, giving the substantial price tag (Manolo’s, obvs).

Halfway through the episode, we’re witness to a mid-street conversation on how society is more than happy to celebrate the traditional milestones of childbirth and marriage, but what happens if those don’t happen in the same timeframe as our friendship groups, or don’t happen at all?

Do our career achievements or broader personal goals simply get overlooked, or not deemed as exciting or relevant when broached in a conversation with friends who’ve already hit those milestones?

Now, we won’t get into the many character flaws of Carrie Bradshaw in this post, but looking at it through the lens of a mid-30s woman over someone in their mid-20s, that show was way ahead of its time and a supporting hand for many of us in the same boat.

As many women my age, I have a smaller but much tighter-knit group of friends than I did a decade ago. For anyone younger than 30 reading this, trust me, it’s a much healthier dynamic and you’ll soon see the issue with trying to make regular dinner plans with 20 acquaintances over 10 close ones. As we graduated into our early 30s, excuses for avoiding that lunchtime Prosecco started to appear, wry smiles and glances down at ring fingers once everyone was seated, and WhatsApps with far-flung pals became peppered with engagement ring pics or grainy scans.

Conversations also began brewing around infertility, months of struggling with no results; A heart-wrenching balance between brimming with happiness for those able to hold their babies at the end of it, and feeling overwhelming sadness for those who couldn’t.

As someone who sees children somewhere in their future, the traditional nuptials has never been that appealing (likely due to divorced parents from the age of 3 - I’ll deal with that one in a few years time), so it seems inevitable my career path received a greater amount of nurturing.

Subsequently, promotions or job moves have never been received with quite as much excitement, exclamation marks or even interest as baby scans or engagement rings, but why?

It’s a narrative I hope we continue to evolve as more of us grow into our late 30s without becoming mothers, fiancés or wives, whether by choice or not.

Normalise a celebratory Bloom & Wild letterbox bouquet when a friend tells you they’ve been offered that job, or are booking a once-in-a-lifetime trip to the Southern Hemisphere, which could never be possible with a 6-month-old in tow.

Maybe we need to start some sort of club, or revolution… 💛